There’s a new VH1 reality show called “Why Am I Still Single?” airing this Sunday night at 9pm. Why do you give a shit about this? Because our very own Goddamn Western star Rich Awn is in the very first episode. No lie.
Tune in and and turn up as host and fake name connoisseur Siggy Flicker talks openly about faking orgasms with her ex-husband within the first, like, 30 seconds of the show. Awesome. And if that’s not enough for you, her crew of “love-pickers,” who each have at least 2 y’s in their first name, will undoubtedly throw you over the edge. This show is definitely trashy enough to encourage drinking, so I’m gonna go ahead and take a shot each time Siggy says the word “bologna” and Rich raises one of his eyebrows.
If you can’t stand Siggy’s weird accent and gigantic lips long enough to finish the episode, or you’re already drunk because Rich raised his eyebrows that many times, I’ve posted a list of tweetable quotes, some sweet screenshots and memorable hashtags below. Touchdown in the friend zone.
“What AREN’T I doing this summer?” – Rich
“Touchdown in the friend zone.” – Rich
“Ooohh, it’s so long!” – Katie
“I’m like the George Clooney of Brooklyn.” – Rich
“Slicker than grease.” – Rich
“I didn’t know I needed that much to look good!” – Katie
“You have a nice eyes too.” – Italian guy
“Dating is a crapshoot.” – Siggy